As teardrops fall

I'm listening to calm piano music, while outside my window the rain calmly falls.... too mainstream? I know, but it's true, and one of my favorite things in the world.

I've been studying all day long, I’ve played the guitar, sang some silly lyrics and sat down for a moment, sometimes my days seem dark and awful, this truly not related to climate (cuz´ I love it this way), anyway, this morning I didn’t get up, I simply couldn’t, I was feeling too tired, too stressed and in a certain and deep way, lonely as I’ve ever been.

But somehow, I stayed in bed for hours, thinking, writing, crying at some point, and a lot of things started to appear in my mind, good times, hard times, people in-between all these years, all the lessons I’ve learned all the way.

Years back, I felt no one could ever hear me, no one cared, even myself, I didn’t care about what happening in my life, about all the things I should’ve been proud at a moment, but I do not justify any of my feelings, all the things I was living were tough but all rich in experience and I thank God for all of them, even if in that time they’ve hurted like hell.

I’ve learned to appreciate all the feelings that have passed trough me, experience a leap, a fall and a crack in my heart, and also felt I could fly and touch the sky, feel invincible, strong and capable of everything, I’ve opened my eyes and seen all of the hands that have touched me in every singular and peculiar way, all the people I’ve called friends, even if I don’t speak to them anymore.

All which I shared a laugh with, tears, screams, teenage experiences, craziness, deep thoughts and feelings, a cup of coffee or a beer, all of them are kept in my heart, and even if years keep passing by, if life gives me the privilege to see them again, I’ll share with them a tender hug, and a huge smile in memory of all those precious moments that we shared.

Infancy and teenage dreams, somehow, I’ve grown up and became a girl that is capable of recognize the beauty in every small detail, to recognize good in each person, to give my heart without fear to people that I know they care, to speak and write all of my thoughts even if they’re silly and no one will read, to give each day a step and become the women I used to dream I would be since I was a child.

For the ones that have read this lines, I appreciate it. I love to think writing connects minds and hearts all over the world…. I just hope it’s for good.